Back to the Future, the Past and the Future

Here's an interesting dream I had about 10 years ago and recorded in a diary:

"I'm holding a baby boy. He starts crying. When I try to comfort him by asking, 'Whatsa matter, baby,' he stops crying and answers, 'It's chaotic.' I ask him what's chaotic, but the dream ends."

Looking back, I'm immediately struck by how closely this foreshadowed something Nick would say to me on Christmas day 2008: "I don't want you to have tears."

In context, however, I realize that I was the baby, being cuddled by myself at around age 30. The baby represented the "kid" in my adult self, and as an adult, I was having trouble reconciling my childlike or "simple" nature with the unfortunate realities of adulthood in a chaotic world.