I've gotta say this in print, for all to see, because the guilt is just tripping me.
Leo, my Leo, how I love ya, how I love ya! You know you'll always be my fave actor and my best guy. No other thespian will ever come between us, I promise. You'll always be my No. 1 boy at the box office.
But times are tough, babe, and I ain't earning $20 million at my job like you are. That's why I skipped seeing Body of Lies last fall, and why I'm passing on Revolutionary Road now. Seven or eight bucks for a matinee is just plain ridiculous. I can't justify it, not even for you.
But I will be in Walmart on the two Tuesdays when these DVDs are released — and, to sweeten the deal and retain my exalted place in your favor, I promise to buy the "special edition" versions.
Then I'll have you forever in my home ... and you'll still get my money.
So ... are we OK?
But times are tough, babe, and I ain't earning $20 million at my job like you are. That's why I skipped seeing Body of Lies last fall, and why I'm passing on Revolutionary Road now. Seven or eight bucks for a matinee is just plain ridiculous. I can't justify it, not even for you.
But I will be in Walmart on the two Tuesdays when these DVDs are released — and, to sweeten the deal and retain my exalted place in your favor, I promise to buy the "special edition" versions.
Then I'll have you forever in my home ... and you'll still get my money.
So ... are we OK?
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